20 December 2012

In Summation...

For a good portion of my life I'd been fascinated by all things related to the end of the world.  The end of humanity or the ultimate end of the universe itself.  I still am, to be honest.  This being the eve of a date that's been resounding in my head since a pre-teen is pretty damn monumental.  Of course, now being more informed than I was as a conspiracy theorizing youth, I haven't the least amount of anxiety about what tomorrow holds. Maybe even a decade ago I believed that some great calamity would befall mankind.  That we might be wiped out or the Earth itself could see it's final day at the whim of some celestial happenstance.  But I know it's not going to. I'm going to sleep soundly tonight and I'll only dread the coming snow storm that's predicted to hit Ohio in the afternoon.
Don't get me wrong; I would be absolutely delighted if we were all wiped out tomorrow. Nothing would make me happier. And it's not completely some selfish woe-is-me outlook.  I don't believe there would be anything better for this planet than a lack of humans.  And it's not totally a bad deal for us either.  I mean, come on. No matter how good you have it, do you really have it that great?  Consider the alternative. Living out the rest of your life, regardless how much longer that may be, and dying alone as we all do. Leaving behind loved ones and liabilities. But if we all went out at once in a grand hurrah, everything tied up with a pretty bow, what could be more fortunate?  We should be so lucky.

Alas. None of this is going to take place. The 'Mayan' doomsday prophesy, as it's been adopted in recent decades, actually pertains to Aztec creation lore in which the creation and destruction of world has taken place several times, and as time is cyclical in their mythos, will happen again on the day of the fifth sun. The Mayan long count calendar simply marked this date as the end of their cycle.  In our equivalent, a new years celebration. But, who knows.  Maybe the sun will swallow us whole.  Maybe All the bees will die off at once.  Maybe patient zero will develop a cough.  There are a lot of things that can happen in 24 hours.  But if you insist on counting the minutes until the apocalypse, the Maya home turf is in Central Time. Make sure to keep this song on repeat for the full 24 hours for maximum effect.

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